Nettle Zero Soup

Who wouldn’t want to copy my example..

1.    I transplanted naughty air-borne nettles from my raised bed in back garden into a large pot sat in my front garden. Distance = 40 yards. Cost = zero.

2.    Readied my large pot for nettles with mix of 2024 unopened compost and some used/sifted from 2023. Cost = less than this year.

3.    Watered now and again with rainwater from water butt. Cost = zero. Received increased water bill = perplexed = WTF!

4.    Chopped and fried onion and garlic from big bag. Cost = shared with friend = complicated maths but trust me it’s cheaper.

5.    Washed, chopped and added 3 wonky carrots, handful radish leaves (picking radishes later), handful fenugreek leaves (2 more pickings left), and nettles picked wearing gloves. Cost = 5p for carrots = don’t tell anyone or the price will go up.

6.    Added 3 cups tap water, (ah, so that’s why the water bill went up!), leftover salad potatoes, 2 not quite out-of-date stock cubes, salt, and out of date pepper. Brought it all to boil and simmered for 20 minutes. Cost = Only the energy company will know once they’ve decided on an exorbitant figure and doubled it.

Naturally I took car travel to airports and flew many times on first and business class flights in order to become fully cognisant of how to keep my carbon footprint low. For instance there was COP 26 to Glasgow. COP 27 to Egypt. COP 28 to Dubai. COP 29 to Azerbaijan. I’ve been espousing the benefits of EVs to my neighbours but they appear to have a problem with stiff middle fingers.